June 2013 - Back on Track

I know I have been neglecting my blog and instead focusing on individual emails and messages to friends and family members. But major things have been happening this month and I want to share them with the world. I now vow to post at least one blog a month. So to update all of those readers who do not know what is going on - I quit my job in Colorado in April, sold most of my belongings and moved to India. I am working at a boarding house in Joseph Nagar which is 5 hours outside of Bangalore. Here I am living on site, teaching English and Math at the local primary school, teaching exercise to the children and doing whatever is needed of me. The first two months were overwhelming and crazy and it took me a long time to find my place in this community of 80 children, four Sisters, four teachers, one Uncle and a village (or Nagar) of about 65 families. In those first two months I successfully taught the girls conversational English, how to swim, American exercise and yoga, introduced them to painting and Play doh, finished two murals, taught them about littering, puberty, hitting, lice, properly bathing, American love marriages, how to make balloon animals and multiple other daily differences in our cultures. In turn they taught me how to pick mangoes, care for rabbits, play cricket, take a shower in a bucket, eat rice with my hands, quite 80 children, sing in Kananda, dance to traditional and pop Indian music and finally how to love when you have nothing at all.

Those first two months are now a blur, when in the moment I wonder how I was ever going to make it through the next 10 minutes. There was a lot of frustration, yelling, crying (them and me),scolding and hugging. The climate went from me sweating through two shirts a day, to me wearing long pants and long sleeves everyday. The demeanor of the children has changed dramatically and continues to change daily as their ages range from five to nineteen. Their are children who love, those who cry all day, those who just crave attention and those that don’t think they are worth anyone's time. Between all of those children, all of those emotions and all of those differences I have to find times to share myself, my experiences and my love with each and everyone of them. It is exhausting but every night I go to bed knowing that what I did that day mattered. That even if I just touched one little heart or sparked one little mind that that just that was enough.

At the end of the second month I left for a week to see the other volunteer, Jenny, off and at first I though that week away would be heaven. However, after only a few hours on the train Jenny and I both missed the girls, we wanted to know what they were doing, how they were feeling and we just wanted to hug them. After a few days Jenny and I both had no idea what to do with our time, I felt bored and useless. Coming back to the girls was amazing. The pure love I felt upon arrival was one of the best feelings I have ever had. Each day I stay I realize that it makes it that much more difficult to leave. But I know that when it is my time to leave everything will line up, as it always has, and something else amazing will be waiting on me. Until that day happens keep turn to more frequent blog posts!