After a rough few weeks here in India the past few days have been a breathe of fresh air. A dark gloomy cloud has lifted from the boarding house and things are returning to their happy, positive, and stress-free ways.
This week has been amazing. It included: singing practice, long walks with the girls, teaching them a new exercise routine, four teeny tiny puppies, the buying of saris, making almost 100 balloon animals for the kids, watching them engage and light up when learning about the Moon and to top it off the other volunteer Katy gave each girl a super soft and fuzzy teddy bear. My smile can hardly fit on my face!
I am leaving this location in seven days and it is nice to end my time here the same way it started...with a gaggle of girls who are beautiful, smiling and happy. I rarely get to spend unscheduled, fun and carefree time with the older girls, 8th - 10th Standards. (I teach at the primary school K-7th Standard.) The time we do spend together is basically spent with me directing them or trying to get them to hurry up. Hurry up for exercise, hurry up for breakfast, hurry up for school, hurry change your dress for mass, hurry sit down for goodnight, hurry go to study hall before bed and finally I walk to my room and pass them with a, “Goodnight girls, sweet dreams.” Now wonder some of them haven’t really opened up to me. They never get to spend time with me, some of them are bitter that all the young kids get our attention, some don’t care and other just can’t open up to someone who they don’t know and trust.
For the first two months I was here I was “play Auntie”. It was their big holiday break and whatever we did was just fun. We had no real locked-in schedule. That is a stark contrast to how life is now; to have them adapt to the change and my role changing to “helping and hurry Auntie” was not realistic. So I have made a huge effort as of late to spend more quality time with the older girls. Sit with them at dinner just to talk, ask them specifically how their day was, give them hugs and attention and now take a group of them on a 30 minute walk a day.
A 30 minute walk a day may not seem like much to you or to a child in the United States. But to an abandoned young girl who is basically confined to two buildings and one acre of land - it is monumental.
To them this walk is the highlight of their day. Each day after school I have a line of children begging me to take them on the walk today. These children, whether young or old, are not allowed to leave the orphanage’s property unless they are walking to school or sent out specifically by a Sister. There is even a path directly from our house to the chapel so they do not have to go outside the fence. So for them to be able to go explore for 30 minutes is the most freedom these girls ever see.
Not only do the girls look forward to the walks but Auntie Molly also does. It is really refreshing only to have to split your attention and time between four girls instead of 85. Some days the orphanage and all the girls is just too overwhelming. But I get the luxury of having - a room to myself - with a door. The girls do not.
They share everything. They share their time, belongings and space with 84 girls, 4 Sisters and 2 Aunties. They share their clothes, hairbrushes, pencils, hair clips, shoes, book bags and even beds with one another. They never are alone and it must be hard and exhausting. These girls wake up everyday at 5:30am and go to bed well after 10:00pm every night. They do not get a nap, they do not get to sit on the couch after school (as if we had couches), they get no break. And yet they do not complain about their schedule or chores they just accept it. So to have the power to take them away from the chaos and give them space, quite and one-on-one time is amazing.
This one-on-one time is eye-opening. I am getting to know more and more about them and it makes me love them more. Some of the girls are really talkative on the walks, other are just in awe of their surrounds and a select few completely ignore the Aunties and pretend that it is just them on the walk. Each situation is completely fine with me. You know why? Because these kids follow a ridiculous schedule, have no choices, no voice, and in general no time to just be by themselves.
To take a break from the craziness and just breath fresh air for a few minutes a day is the most solace they get and I respect that they just need to be by themselves during those 30 minutes. I just love being in their presence. They are still surprising me and amazing me ever day.
For instance, today on our walk one of my favorite girls, Margaret, said to me, “Auntie when you leave you do not give me any one gift, I give my heart and you also give me you heart. That is it. I happy with that one gift.”
Now tell me that does not move you.
She, a child who has not seen her mother since she was dropped off here six years ago, can see the true meaning of love and what is important in life. Not material gifts, even though the girls love them too, but extending your heart and knowing that that gesture means more than anything. I will miss her and her view and love of the world.
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